WE HAVE A LID!!!! REMEMBER THE DATE, MARK IT ON YOUR CALENDAR, THIS IS IT!!! DRUM ROLL PLEASE...... FEBRUARY 13, 2006 !!!!!!!!

I have chosen to type in pink today to match my "tickled pink" mood!!!! Honestly, I cannot believe it. I have been checking the boards numerous times per day for at least 6 weeks waiting to hear some news. In fact, I feel sorry for those who have to hang out with me. I've been mopey and uncharacteristically quiet (at times). Yesterday, I was so busy at work and completely distracted by an issue that had taken place with Brett that I had no time. I came in to work super early (for me that's 5 o'clock folks) and decided to relax for a few minutes with my morning yogurt and BAM!!! I read that we have our LID's. The post came out on the agency site yesterday at around noon.

I had a very strong suspician that our LID was going to be Valentine's Day. There were many reasons for this. I had been keeping close track of the DTC vs. LID of others and their various agency policies re: when and how they translate, etc. Plus, I just thought how fun it would be to be LID on heart day but I am thrilled to have it even one day earlier than expected. If CCAA continues to send our partial month referrals, that one day could affect our referral by a month. And, if they ever speed up a little and go back to even 1/2 months at least we're in the first half of the month. There is a website isorumors.blogspot.com written by a women who calls herself the Rumor Queen. She is carefully documenting the referral process to try to figure out all sorts of things us waiting parents are interested in like... How long will referrals actually take? What exactly has caused the slowdown? Is CCAA really still referring out as many children as before? etc, etc, etc. She says her most recent info is that the referral process should not extend past the 12 month mark. That would mean that our referral (when you get the picture and medical info) would come in by Feb 2007 and we would likely be traveling to China around April 2007. I really hope her rumors are correct. I can live with that. Late last week there were rumors floating around that the referral process might actually extend to 18 months!!! OUCH!!! Let's hope the old rumors are wrong and the new rumors are right.

Anyway, we are "officially" 47 days into our wait for Baby Girl!!! If the 12 month timeline is correct we would have 318 days left to wait until we receive a picture of our daughter. Wow!!! Plus on the weird-things-to-think-about side this means that somewhere in China, a birthmother is likely carrying the little girl that will someday be our child. The babies are an average of 11 mos old at referral meaning with a Feb referral she would be born in April, that's next month.... It is possible that she's already been born but she definitely exists in one form or another. Plays with the brain.

Today has not been a great day for the CAC (Chinese Adopting Community). Why? you may ask. Well, it's referral time and it's not looking good. I was reading back my post from 2/18 and noticed that at that time I was reporting that referrals were to cover LID's 5/13/05 -->?? Those question marks turned out to be 5/25. OUCH!! Only 10 days of referrals. When we started this process in September 2005 referrals came out about once a month and referred about a month of LID's. Sometimes more, sometimes a little less. Today, the rumor mill is now quoting that March referrals will only cover LID's 5/26-5/30 or maybe 5/31. Bigger ouch!!! It really seems as though the entire process has coming to a screeching halt. There's lots of speculation as to why this may be the case ie. abnormally huge, historic level high dossiers in May, the Hunan baby trafficking problems, etc. It seems like maybe its a combination of things. But, whatever it is, it is completely outside of my control. Realization of that fact did not stop me from feeling pretty sad today. I had put in my mind a worse case scenario of Feb 2007 for travel. My worst case scenario needs to be amended. It could be April or even later... I know that it will eventually happen and I'm trying to look on the bright side and see the positives of more time but still the uncertainty of it all does get to me sometimes. Today is one of those times.

I posted to my Yahoo group a list of potential positives for having a longer wait. Among them were:
1. More time to work on my Mandarin
2. More time to save money for trip and SHOPPING
3. More time to work on nursery and shop for baby items
4. More time to learn to quilt well enough that I actually make the Good Wishes Quilt and have it ready by the time that Baby Girl gets here
5. More time to read all the adoption related books I've purchased and am still interested in.
6. If we don't travel til summer there would be no reason for Brett to not make the trip with us!! (This is the only one I really like)

I could go on but you get the point. The problem with the list is each "positive" generally starts with "more time" which, of course, means more time waiting, waiting for Baby Girl. Like I said, I'm kinda down. Sorry if you were looking for a little pick me up, it's not happening here today.

100 Good Wishes Quilt: I have been told, there is a tradition in parts of China that in order to give a child a good start in life, a quilt is created from fabrics provided by friends and family. Each of these fabrics are supposed to represent a good wish for the child's future. It is very popular in the Chinese adoption community to create these 100 good wishes quilts. The way its done is that people send a 8" or so square of fabric along with a wish for the child's future. The squares are made into a quilt and the wishes are saved in an album along with a small scrap of the fabric for a keepsake. I think it is a lovely tradition. Because it is difficult, if not impossible, for some people to collect the squares just from friends and as an additional bond within DTC groups, swaps are often conducted. In fact, there is an entire yahoo group devoted to the quilts called OHGWQ "One Hundred Good Wishes Quilts" --I am, not surprisingly, a member!!!

Let's just start by saying, I know nothing about quilting. However, I was convinced by a Joann's employee that if I took the Quilting 1, 2, and 3 classes --a total of 12 hours of instruction--I would learn enough to be able to make a simple quilt for Baby Girl myself. So, here goes. I signed up this Saturday and will begin in a few weeks. Meanwhile I've been collecting the fabrics and wishes from others and went out and purchased some fabric of my own to share. As you can see it is pink, of course, and has little garden type pix on it. Some people do fancy wishcards and others are very simple. I decided it would be fun to do something a little involved and VOILA!!! pictured is my creation. It took me about 7 hours to make about 21 of them. I got lots quicker as I moved along. But, it was fun. I wanted something kind of special. Now we'll just have to see how this quilting thing comes along.

I'm going to purchase fabrics for the class quilt cuz I figure I'll make lots of mistakes. Then, by the time I'm ready to make the real thing, it should be quite a bit better. Let's all keep our fingers crossed. The pic is of one of the fabrics I chose to send out and the wish which reads:

I wish you Health,
So you may enjoy each day in comfort.

I wish you the Love of
friends and family,
And Peace within your heart.

I wish you the Wisdom to choose priorities,
For those things that really matter in life.

I wish you Generosity so you may share,
all good things that come to you.

I wish you Happiness and Joy
And Blessings for each New Year.

I wish you the best of everything,
That you so well deserve.

Secret Pal gift exchange...
I've joined quite a few of the Yahoo groups for families adopting from China. Among them are three DTC groups December 2005, January 2006, and Feb 2006, Harrah's, and APC. The DTC groups are really fun, everyone is in the exact same place and so we can all kind of relate to each other. I'm really surprised that I enjoy them--it's not the kind of thing I thought I'd have any interest in-- but they provide a nice support system. Anyway, the groups plan all sorts of fun little things to keep your mind occupied during the seemingly unending wait. So far I've done the postcard exchange and begun the secret pal swap. I've also signed up for some quilt square exchanges but that's a different subject altogether.

Today, I'd had an extremely challenging day at work and when I got home I was really tired and pretty grouchy. Luckily when I checked the mail I found that my first secret pal package had arrived!!! I was so excited!!! What a great assortment of cute little things. The theme for Feb was "Year of the Dog" because of the Lunar New Year. As you can see there's a really cute chinese dog plaque and stand, a beautiful purple ornament, origami baby booties, two little jade dogs and 5 sets of the prettiest chopsticks I've ever seen!!!! There are 4 adult sized chopsticks and one child sized for Baby Girl. Whoever my secret pal is she (he??) sure did a great job. I've posted some close ups:


Thank you so much Secret Pal!! You really lifted my spirits today.

Still waiting on our LID... I know think?? we already have one, I just don't know what it is. I heard today that the families whose dossier's were sent by our agency to China on 1/6/06 received a log in date LID of 1/24/06. That means with our LID should be around the middle of February. I'll be so happy to have one. For anyone who doesn't know, the LID is the date that China uses to line up referrals. So, pretty much they go in chronological order and that's your place in line. The next referrals should be out in a week or two and will be for LIDs 5/13/05 --->?? No one knows for sure but I've heard rumors that they'll go through 6/6/05. That would be more than 3 weeks worth which would be great cuz the last couple sets of referrals have only been for a 2 week period of time. That would mean that referrals would be taking 8-1/2 mos from LID which is not so bad. I've been setting myself up for a 10 month wait for referral so 8 mos would be a huge improvement!!!

There's been quite a bit of talk on APC lately about the ages of children to be referred --its gotten me thinking quite a bit. We requested 5-10 month old girl, as young as possible (AYAP). China considers an infant to be any child up to 24 mos. I personally have never seen a referral that old, except where its been requested, and most of the babies are between 8 and 14 mos old. Lately, they've been even younger, 6-9 mos. Some people are just adamant that there is a baby out there "meant for them" --either in the religious context or not and therefore age is not an issue. Some feel that they have put their trust in the CCAA to match them with the "perfect" child for them. I personally do not feel that way. I don't have the religious connection and I sure as heck don't think that a government worker in a country half way around the world looking at our passport pix and our little commercial (aka dossier materials) has any tremendous insight. I believe they do the best they can. I've heard they try to match up by appearance and personality but, whatever. I just don't think they have enough information about the families or the babies to do that successfully.

One thing's for sure, I know that we will love the child referred to us, that one's easy. Children are so innocent and beautiful and I think human beings are just "built" in a way that when you are put in a position of care of another living thing, not just children here, you love them. I believe that parental love is a natural instinct.

Anyway, point is that either way, I still really do want a child AYAP. I really love the idea of adopting from China but I could have found my child somewhere else. Vietnam just opened their adoptions again and the few referrals I've heard of are for very young babies, like 2 mos old. That's very appealing to me. Of course, we could have gone with Guatemala where the babies are also very young but that just didn't feel like a match. Overall, I think China is the best choice for our family.

So what would we do if China decided to refer our family a child far outside our expectations? A boy perhaps. It's happened. I can unequivocally answer that if we were referred a boy we would request another referral. I love my boys but that's just too different from the experience we're expecting. Plus, I know some families would be so thrilled to have a little boy. How about an older girl, say 3 yrs old? Would we accept that referral? I don't know, I'm not sure. Truly, I hope that doesn't happen but if it did and we accepted the referral, I know we'd love her. Plus I'm sure in the future we would look back and not even be able to imagine our lives without this particular child. Just like Brett and Casey.

I love you Baby Girl, I just haven't met you yet!!!

"And when at last I find you
Your song will fill the air
Sing it loud so I can hear you
Make it easy to be near you
For the things you do endear you to me
You know I will
I will."

It's been a very long time since I have posted. The biggest news is... we are officially DTC!!! On 1/20/06 our documents were sent to China with those of about 10 other families from our agency. What a huge relief. I mean really, its amazing how stressful that part of the whole process it. But, its done and now we just have to wait. First for our LID --Log in Date --the date that determines our place in line. Then for our Referral....

"The waiting is the hardest part

Every day you see one more card

You take it on faith, you take it to the heart

The waiting is the hardest part"

"The wai-ai-ting is the harrrrr--dest part..." I think of that Tom Petty song often which is funny cuz it really is not adoption or baby related but whatever. Waiting really is hard. I guess because there's nothing I can really do to improve the situation. I can't get up early and get started, I can't work overtime, I can't pay an extra fee to expedite, and I can't call someone's supervisor and nudge the process along. I have to just... wait. And, during this active waiting period I can't even log onto the computer and track the progress like an anticipated package from Amazon. I have to just try to get through it without driving everyone else crazy. So here's what I'm doing:

1. Working a lot --bill, bill, bill...
2. Mandarin classes --oh my gosh, really fun "Ni hao"
3. Reading books about China and adoption
4. Endlessly shopping for all baby related items ie. the perfect crib, the perfect crib bedding, the perfect stroller, the perfect high chair, etc.
5. Still trying to choose the perfect name --current fav's Zaidee, Chatelaine, Adeline, Cambria, and Charlotte.
6. Finish projects around the house and general de-clutter
7. Reading every post on all the yahoo groups I belong to searching for rumors of referrals
8. Joined postcard swap, secret pal swap, and quilt square swap
9. Considering taking a quilting class --the lady at Joanne's assures me I can complete a very simple 100 good wishes quilt with very little training. Hmmm I'm not sure...
10. Remembering all the little songs and things I did with Brett and Casey when they were small so I can do them again with Baby Girl like Itsy Bitsy Spider, I Love You So Much, Wheels on the Bus...
11. Driving everyone else crazy with discussion of the above.

All in all, its been just fine so far. Of course, its only been like 23 days so it may get a little tougher but we'll have to see.

On the shoppping issue aka Retail Therapy... I've been considering a new ideas for the nursery, well same idea, different implementation. Here are some other cribs I am now considering:

The Venetian by Bratt Decor --this crib comes with the posts and you can either use them or not. So fancy but not in an over the top way.



Below #1: The Casablanca by Bratt Decor --this is a crib that was featured in the Stuart Little movie.
Below #2: Classic Iron by Legacy. This is the only one of the group I've seen in person and it is GORGEOUS! I wish it came in gold but it doesn't just silver and white.



As you can see I'm really liking the iron crib idea. They're just so beautiful, romantic, classic and extremely well made. Also, there's no furniture matching problems to contend with if I go with a metallic which will make the rest of the shopping so much easier.

This weekend we went to our final baby shopping destination and I found a company that's been in business for years that makes custom crib bedding. They have tons of fabrics and you can mix and match to make a one of a kind set. Really beautiful. Some day soon, I hope to have this all pulled together in my brain and then watch out... the credit card's coming out and I'm doing some damage!!! Until then its search and look, search and look, search and look....

Loose ends: Over the past weekend, we spent quite a bit of time finishing up all the loose ends for the dossier. We still needed to do our pix, get the passport photos for the matching room, etc. I really hate to have my picture taken, I mean HATE!! But, if we want the kid, the pix must be taken. OK. So, we set the camera up in the backyard on the tripod and used the timer and took some snapshots of the "happy" little, albeit incomplete, family. I'm sure my neighbors thought we were crazy. Brett and Casey kept poking at each other and getting up to give us their input which required us to all get set up again. Try to imagine it... "Brett!! Casey!! would you guys knock it off!!! Sit down already!! Would you stop screwing around I want to get this done!!! OK, KNOCK IT OFF, SIT DOWN AND SMILE, DAMMIT!!! Ahh, those happy moments at home. Anyway, I thought the pix turned out OK. Looking at them the following day I actually liked them better. What do you think? Would you give these people a kid???

After the family was sufficiently tortured by sitting through the photo op, Bobby and I went off to WalMart to print the pix out and take the passport photos. Ohmygawd!!! We were there forever. I cannot figure out for the life of me why, oh why, does the stupid printing machine always break whenever I'm there. Then over to the portrait studio for the passport photos-- at least that was quick. If I figure out how to scan them in I will. Bobby has sort of a deer-in-headlights look and I think I just look tired. Anyway, those were OK too I guess. From what I've heard, those are the only pix that go into the mysterious Matching Room. Meaning, the powers that be look at those two little pix and match us up to a little pic of our baby. There's been lots of speculation as to exactly how the matching is done and some people swear that the babies look like the adoptive parent. I'm not convinced, yet. Also, people wonder if the more "attractive" parents are given cuter babies. Mmmm, I don't think so. I've seen some pretty average people get some pretty gorgeous kids and some pretty gorgeous people get some pretty gorgeous kids. Maybe I just think all the babies are adorable!!!

Anyway, the next day, all the pix (and a great, big check) were overnighted to Texas, yipee!

Wow, I forgot to mention that we received the I171H on 1/9/06. Opened the mailbox and there it was!!! Honestly, it doesn't look very important. A person could easily have thrown it away. In the last 10 days it's been notarized and overnighted, certified, expedited and approved, then overnighted again. Whew!!!

Another funny thing, I got a call from HFS on Wednesday saying that they needed for Brett and Casey to write a letter to CCAA expressing their feelings about the adoption. That seemed kinda strange but I guess they just want something in writing from the kids to know they're OK with it. HFS said I could "help" them with it if need be. However, I thought it would be fascinating to read what they actually thought. Both of them mentioned that they thought it was "strange" but that it would be fun. Hmmm... not the rousing words of joy and confidence I hoped for but, what the heck, they're teenage boys.

Anyway, we're all set to be DTC tomorrow, the 20th. CCAA closes for Lunar/Chinese New Year from 1/28/06-2/12/06. We won't know for a couple of months about our LID.

Two things I learned today...

Learned thing #1: Well, I haven't written in awhile and mostly because there hasn't been much to say. For any of you who have been following my blog, and there may not be any, I don't know... I have changed its name. Used to be Journey to My China Doll, updated to Journey to My China Princess. Why? I learned today on APC -- the mother of all china adoption related yahoo groups-- that the term "china doll" is not PC. I thought it was cute and used to call the boys my little dolls when they were younger but apparantly it is considered impolite because at some time chinese prostitutes were referred to as "china dolls". I didn't really like the association, so I changed it. I must comment that I think its better than one blog I read where a mother, obviously unknowingly, referred to her newly adopted chinese daughter as "the little nipper".

Learned thing #2: I am waiting, not patiently, for the dreaded I171H. Our homestudy was received by the Los Angeles USCIS office on 11/28/05 but no I171 yet. I have officially turned into one of those frantic people who is surfing every china adoption related yahoo group looking for answers as to when the heck we can expect to receive it. Looks like it may be another couple weeks. I was so hoping to be DTC (Dossier to China) by 1/20/06, the last date in January that my agency will be sending dossiers but, that's starting to look unlikely. More likely is that we will be done by the next mail in date which is 2/4/06. I know that to the average person that doesn't seem like such a big difference but to me, it is agonizing. I know it sounds funny but I could hardly wait for the holidays to be over so we could stop losing CIS working days. I come home from work every day and check the mail first thing. I feel pathetic. Lesson: I'm really bad at waiting.

In order to help pass the time I have registered for Mandarin classes at the local community college. I think it will be fun. I purchased some language CD's and that's going along pretty well but the class should be great. Funny, when I graduated from law school I said I would never again be a student because I was so sick of school but here I go again!!

Just thinking... it seems as though the referral ages have gotten younger with about 10 mos being average. So, if we get a referral in 11/06 that means that our little princess will be born in about 2/06. It is possible that she's been born already and that the little girl that will be joining our family is already in existence somewhere. I hope if she that she's safe, warm, and well-fed.

Week from hell... almost.
Alright, here we go... Monday I had gone to lunch with my coworkers and when we came out to get back in the car found that someone had broken out my driver's side car window and stolen my purse!! OK, I know you're not supposed to leave valuables (or in this case, the appearance of valuables) in clear view but, I forgot, I was in a hurry. Damn!

Anyway, the interesting thing about it is that looking through the broken glass my very first thought was "OH MY GOD!! I am so glad they didn't take my adoption folder." You see it was sitting right there next to my purse and it wouldn't necessarily have had anything of value to another person in it but they definitely may have just grabbed it hoping for the best. Its kind of a little pink suede thing I carry all my papers around with me in. I don't always have it with me but Monday was to be a very big day for me. Bobby had taken some of his papers to the bank for notary and I was going to pick up the long awaited medical form from the doc and go to the bank later to have the notaries finished up. So it was with me. If they would have grabbed it, you know what would have happened, they would have seen nothing of value and dumped it into a dumpster. My 3 mos of work would require repeat. Not to mention the cost of having to reorder birth certificates, passports, etc. But the great thing is, they didn't take it.

Although it was a rough couple of days ie. paying to have the window replaced, two days on the phone to cancel credit cards, update online banking, auto debits, deposits, etc. It was really fine. Because in the long run my life, my real life, was not affected at all. So that's why it was "almost" the week from hell. As it turned out, even with my broken window, I drove over to the doc's office to get the form and went to the bank to have everything notarized. In fact while I was there I was able to change my account, etc. So in a way it was, uh, convenient... OK, I'm just kidding here. Truth is, it still sucked, but it did bring into perspective the reality that life is not always perfect, things get in my way and it doesn't always go as planned. People I love get sick, kids are not always "perfect", life is not always kind. But in the end, I must take it as it comes, do the best I can with what I have, and keep going forward. The only thing I can truly control is my perception of events/things/people I encounter.

I think I'll go hug my kid.....

Paperwork complete??
Ok, this is getting exciting. I have finally gotten the doctor to completely fill out my medical form. YIPPEEE!!! Also, I have gotten the DC approval of our letter to CCAA (China Center of Adoption Affairs) requesting to adopt. I've attached it here so anyone interested can see the type of things they're looking for. Now, all we have to do is get all these papers notarized and then we'll ship them off to the DC to have them verified and authenticated by the secretary of state and the chinese consulate. Once that's done we'll only be waiting on the I171!!!

To The Officials Of The China Center Of Adoption Affairs:

We hope to adopt a child from The People’s Republic of China.

We are requesting a single, healthy, female baby between five

and twelve months of age. We would like the baby to be
as young as possible.

As a family, we have chosen to adopt from China because

it is a beautiful country with a rich history. Susan was fortunate
enough to be able to visit China in 1990 and enjoyed the country

and its proud people. We believe that a little girl from China would

be very happy in our home as we live in an area with many

Chinese families. Close to our city is a large community of

Chinese people where she will have the opportunity to learn about
and stay connected to her Chinese heritage.

Susan is an attorney who enjoys reading, gardening, and decorating.

Bobby works for an aggregate company and spends free time

playing sports and games with our two sons. Our adopted daughter

will have two older brothers age 17 and 15 years old who have
always dreamed of little sister. They both participate in numerous

sports and love computers. We are excited to become an American-

Chinese family and are already planning ways to educate our

daughter about China. Susan has begun learning Mandarin and

we plan to have our adopted daughter learn as well. Chinese holidays,

customs and interaction with Chinese Americans will become an
integral part of our family life. We plan when she is older to travel to
China so that she will be able to experience her first country personally.

We all sincerely promise to love and care for our adopted daughter
for her entire life. We will never abandon or abuse her or allow anyone

else to cause her harm. She will immediately become a respected member

of our family and be treated the same as her two older siblings. She will

share equally in any inheritance. Education is very important to our family.

Both our boys have always attended highly respected private schools with

the goal of attending and completing a college education. Our daughter

will be given the same educational opportunities. Our desire is for

her to grow to be a strong, healthy, intelligent, proud woman.

For these reasons we respectfully request we be allowed to adopt a

healthy, baby girl between the ages five and twelve months, as young as

possible. Thank you for your consideration.

Moving along....slowly.
Well, we got an email from the homestudy agency advising that the homestudy has been forwarded to the DC for review. DC says she'll have it reviewed in a few days and then it will be sent to USCIS. I have just one thought, "please hurry."

Thanksgiving is almost here and once again I think of next year and hope that we'll be enjoying the holiday with a new addition to our family. This may be just wishful thinking but, for now, that's all I have to do.

Homestudy...
Well we finally have a rough draft from the social worker. It wasn't horrible except for the part where she didn't cut and paste correctly and left in the employment info for the last people she did one for. The amazing part is that when I pointed this out to her she didn't even apologize. I know she really hates me. Anyway, we are one step closer to a completed homestudy and that is good news.

I've been shopping for baby stuff and thought I'd post some pix here of the things I've been looking at. I absolutely love this set by Young America. It's called Isabella and has tons of pieces that match it including teen furniture like desks, etc. My plan is to get the crib and then basically all the furniture we would need for her as she gets older and that way, when she transitions to a big bed, we won't have to change everything. The piece on the left is a doll/curio cabinet. I love it!!
The link to the whole set is here:
Stanley
Furniture Set

I've also been looking at bedding. My fav so far is a set by Glenna Jean also called Isabella. Here's the link:
http://www.glennajean.com/pages/isabella.htm

Shopping, shopping, shopping... it is a fun way to pass the time!

Control issues....
OK, for those of you who know me, I tend to prefer the things in life I can control. I really don't think I'm a "controlling" person by nature, but, at least if it's my responsibility I know that if I do it, it's done. Which brings me again to our social worker. When I contracted with this homestudy agency one of my main concerns was timeline. The agency supervisor told me that we should be able to complete this process quickly and I have a feeling that if it were truly up to her we would be done by now. But it's not. As I think is common, they contract your job out to a social worker who they've probably never met in person. So, there you go.

At the outset I was told 7-10 days for a rough draft. I patiently waited until day 10 then called the SW and left a msg asking when it could be expected. She called back leaving a msg that it would be emailed the following day. At 5pm the following day, she emails to say it's not done but it should be the next day, or maybe the day after that. We're now on day 12 and no homestudy yet. Thing is, I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that when the rough draft gets here it's going to be a mess. She just strikes me that way. I'm trying to be patient but it's wearing thin.

On the positive side, I was fingerprinted for USCIS on Wed and Bobby just yesterday so at least that's done. On the internet groups I've been reading it can be as soon as 3-4 weeks after they receive the homestudy and prints for the I171, the last document needed for the dossier so we are definitely moving in the right direction. Goal: DTC before 1/1/06. Fingers are crossed.

OK, so today I'm feeling kinda low. I've been reading the Yahoo boards and it seems as though the referral process has really slowed down. From what I've seen there are several reasons for this. Apparantly, the director of the CCAA (the organization in China that does the adoptions) has been out of the office for awhile visiting orphanages, or something. He was supposed to be back in today and rumor is, may have started signing off on some of the referrals. If this is true, we should start seeing them in the next week or so. I've also heard that the number of applications is way up. I'm not sure about this one although it may be true.

I know that it is not yet my turn to get my referral, heck, we haven't even completed the paperchase, but there's just something about seeing those referrals that kinda keeps me going. It makes it feel "real" and "possible" that this will actually happen to us some day! I get tears in my eyes when I read those words on the screen "The ____ Family is thrilled to announce the referral of their daughter" and I so want to type those words myself. I know it will happen, I'm just being impatient.

I had to run out to Target to get something for Brett this evening and saw the cutest little outfit. Up til this point, I hadn't purchased any clothes for our girl. I've looked plenty, to which Bobby and the boys can attest, but no buying. There are several reasons for this, like HELLO!! we don't know what size she's gonna be!!! But this was just the most adorable outfit of all time. Its a pink (big surprise) little sweat suit with a patterned onesie that goes under it and it has the most adorable little Pooh on it. OK, I got the hat too. I got 9 mos, which should be fine as most of the girls adopted are small by US standards. I just couldn't resist. Don't worry, I won't get anymore... just this one.

Just for fun, I continue to kick around names:
~Clementine
~Adeline
~Adelaide
~Charlotte
~Chatelaine
~Aubrey
~Arabella
~Persephone
~Cambria
I'll list more as I think of them

Well, hopefully I have some good news this week, the homestudy is supposed to have a rough draft on Wed which would be definite progress. You can see from the time of this entry that I'm up in the middle of the night, ruminating on this process and lamenting my lack of control. I have a feeling that my hope to have our little girl at home by next Christmas may not happen but I still have my fingers crossed!!

Timeline:
Besides costs, people are always very curious as to how long this process takes to complete. Once again, there is a short answer "about a year." But, that timeframe can be hugely affected by many things that are within the adoptive parents' control and many more that are out of our hands.
**Since this was originally written, referral times have slowed considerably. Therefore, if someone were asking me today how long the process takes to complete, I may say 18 mos-2 years.
***amended 1/8/07 --the wait time for new families will likely be at least 5 years.

To understand the timeline, its good to have an understanding of what the process is actually requiring families to do. In order to complete an international adoption (IA), there are three separate sets of requirements to complete:

1. The Homestudy completed by a social worker who then says it is safe for us to have a child in our home. We make enough money, have enough room, are healthy, and are not complete freaks.

2. The feds USCIS (formerly INS) --this is the quest toward a magic piece of paper, the Holy Grail if you will, to most IA families --the dreaded (if you haven't received it yet) or lovely (if you have it in your hands) I-171H. In a nutshell you are applying to the federal govt to be allowed to bring a foreign orphan into the country. Sounds simple, huh?

3. China's requirements the Dossier --this is a group of documents that China requires including an application to adopt, marriage and birth certs, medical clearance, financial statement, employment letters the homestudy, the I-171H, and pix of your house and family. Again, seems simple, huh?

The problem is that China is very particular about these docs. They have to be relatively new, certified, then notarized, then verified, then authenticated. Whew, I'm exhausted already. Also, they cannot include any revisions, whiteout, mistakes and all numbers must match up with all the other numbers on all the other docs or they're no good and you must start over. Trust me, this creates some problems.

OUR TIMELINE:
09/05/2005 --Applied to Harrah's AIM

09/07/2005 --Brett's birthday!!

09/12/2005 --Rec'd agency acceptance letter and huge packet of paperwork from Harrah's AIM

09/13/2005 --Sent 1st agency fee and agency dossier prep fee to Harrah's, ordered birth certs from LA County for Susan, Brett and Casey.

09/15/2005 --Applied for passports

09/27/2005 --Ordered Bobby's birth cert from Michigan, only $16 for 3 copies!!!

09/30/2005 --Rec'd birth certs from LA County

10/04/2005 --San Bernardino recorder's office for marriage cert, same day service.

10/05/2005 --Rec'd Bobby's birth cert from Michigan, even came in a cute little holder!!

10/06/2005 --First physical exam for Bobby and Susan, some bloodwork. Doctor's office mistakenly scheduled our evals on Thursday so TB test could not be done. Will need an addional appointment. (1st frustration with Dr's office) I carefully explain to nurses and doctor's that the forms need to be filled out completely, no cross outs, no blank spaces, etc. Doctor and nurses look at me like I am insane or a total shrew, or both.

10/07/2005 --Susan's second trip to lab for bloodwork because doctor forgot to request HIV test (2nd frustration with doctor's office) and Susan obtains her background check

10/08/2005 --First homestudy visit at Starbuck's

10/10/2005 --Back to Dr's office for TB test

10/12/2005 --Bobby obtains his background check and rec'd Susan's passport

10/12/2005 --Back to Dr's office to have TB test read, and picked up Susan and Bobby's medical forms (that's done, yeah right!!)

10/19/2005 --Rec'd Bobby's passport

10/20/2005 --Notified by Dossier Consultant (DC) that Bobby's medical clearance has a white out correction on it. Upon close inspection I realize she is correct. Back to the doctor to have him sign a new form. (3rd frustration with Dr's office). Susan's medical clearance has an "abnormal" circled. What?!?! Dr's office says I'll have to re-test. (4th frustration with Dr's office)

10/27/2005 --(1)Casey's birthday!!! (2) I-600a received by USCIS

10/30/2005 --Second homestudy visit --our house.

11/01/2005 --Susan returns to Dr's office for re-test where she is so grumpy that Dr. avoids her and makes nurses discuss forms, etc. Susan explains to nurse, not that politely, that this really needs to be done correctly. Cross your fingers!!

11/08/2005 --received USCIS fingerprint referral notice saying we must be fingerprinted between 11/8/05 and 11/22/05!!!! I was told by many that we probably wouldn't get our fingerprint notice for about 3 weeks after USCIS received it, luckily we got it in 12 days!!!

11/09/2005 --Susan fingerprinted for USCIS (yeah!) and obtained even more documents from the courthouse re: our background checks (grrrr..). Supposed to get rough draft of homestudy today. SW calls, homestudy will be ready and emailed tomorrow.

11/10/2005 --Bobby fingerprinted for USCIS. SW emails, homestudy will be ready in a day or two.

11/22/2005 --Homestudy is complete and forwarded to DC for review. Should be mailed to USCIS in about a week.

11/28/2005 --Homestudy received by LA USCIS --6 week countdown begins!!

11/30/05 --After 3 more visits, Susan finally gets medical clearance from doctor. Total trips to doctor's office = 11!!

12/01/2005 --Write and received approval of CCAA letter to adopt. Also, adoption agency gave tentative approval to the china version of the homestudy.

12/06/2005 --All docs now notarized and mailed to DC for review. Learned from online groups wait may now be 8 weeks for I171H.

01/04/06 --we have been approved to bring an orphan into the country, just waiting on having the I171 in our hot little hands.

01/11/06 --GOT IT!!! THE I171H IS HERE!!!

01/12/06 --I171H notarized by friend at work, thank you Phi, and overnighted to Dossier Consultant to get needed certifications. We're on track to be DTC 1/20/06.

01/13/06 --I171H expedited at the Secretary of State

01/14/06 --Bobby's birthday --Lordy, lordy, look who's forty!!

01/16/06 --MLK day. "I have a dream..." me too!!

01/17/06 --I171H personally delivered to Chinese Consulate in San Francisco.

01/18/06 --I171H picked up from consulate and fed ex'd to HFS!!!

01/19/06 --Notified by HFS, all documents received and complete. On track to be DTC tomorrow.

01/20/06 --DTC today!!!!! Now begins "the wait"

01/28/06--2/12/06: CCAA closed for Lunar/Chinese New Year.

02/13/06 --our LID. CCAA now stating estimated wait til referral is 12 mos. If this is true, we should have our referral by 2/13/2007 and travel possilbly 4/07.

05/23/06 --100 days since LID and we got our Brown Envelope! Current referral time 12 mos. Rumors now quoting 18 mos from LID to referral for subsequent LID's.

05/27/06 --Susan turns 40 ;-l

09/25/07 --Brett starts college!

10/27/07 --Casey turns 17!

01/04/08 --2nd I171 rec'd. Most recent info says we will not recieve a referral until late 2008 or early 2009 due to Olympics in Beijing 08/08/2008.

01/14/08 --Bobby turns 42!

06/21/2008 --Its official, we've been married 22 yrs

09/07/2008 --Brett turns 20!

09/13/08 --3rd USCIS fingerprinting (Bobby, Susan and Brett) --only 4 lids til ours!!

09/29/2008 --REFERRAL!!!!

11/10/08 --TA's arrived, finally!

11/17/08 --Consulate appointment confirmed for 12/16/08!!

12/1/08 --we will leave for Beijing!!!

The saga continues......

Yeah!!!! Our second homestudy was completed on Sunday!!! I really must admit there is absolutely no love between our social worker and me. We just don't hit it off at all. She was at our house for about 50 minutes total during which she stared at my kids, asked them what they thought of this process (they gave their standard "it's weird" answer) then told us all that they looked "normal" and sent them on their merry way. Very strange. I have to admit I was slightly concerned with the fact that Brett's arms are literally covered in huge ugly bruises! It looks like someone beat him with a bat --they're actually from his football games/practices. Anyway, I don't think the SW noticed... to tell you truth, I don't think she notices much of anything.

Although we were told it was very important to have our autobiographies available at the first homestudy meeting so the SW could review them prior to our "in-depth" second meeting, it was obvious that she had never looked at them at all. In fact approximately half of the 50 mins was spent with her reading through them while we looked at her across that table. The balance of the time she walked us through our house explaining that we will need to put up gates and place door latches on the cupboards. Can we all say "DUH!!!" I mean, Hello, we have two teenagers. She also had some issues with the pool but seemed fairly satisfied that we are safety freakish enough that it shouldn't be a problem.

In any event, before she left she asked if we had any questions. Of course I only had one... When will the homestudy be complete? She said 10 days so, doing the math, it seems we'll have an emailed rough draft by maybe 11/10/05 or so. Yippeeee!!!

I guess I really shouldn't complain about the fact that the SW doesn't seem overly involved in this process. It could certainly be worse. I've heard of some that just drive people crazy with things they need to do before they can be approved.

On the USCIS front (previously I.N.S.) our I600 was received by them on 10/27/05. I'm not sure how long it will take for them to send us some reply. Our homestudy agency director says that we should receive a letter from them saying "thanks, now we're waiting for your homestudy." But I've read on the International Adopt California yahoo group that it's likely we'll be given a fingerprint appointment without the homestudy. We will see.

In regard to the dossier, we're really now just waiting on the correctly completed form from the doctor for my medical clearance. Yesterday, I went to his office for a new test (this is my 7th!!! visit to the doctor to get this single page form completed) and we should have the completed doc by 11/4 (fingers crossed).

All in all, it seems that things are going along fairly well. I spend some time everyday reading the chinese adoption blogs and stories of others and looking at referral pix of those who already have their little bundles of joy. I also daydream and do endless internet searches for cribs, crib bedding, strollers, and of course baby names. It passes the time. Halloween just passed and it's interesting to think that by next year we may have our little girl to dress up and take trick-or- treating!! It seems as though referrals are slowing down though so, once again, we'll have to see.

Alright then. I'll write more when there's more to tell!!

Well, it seemed as though things were going along "swimmingly"... we've been running around like crazy for the last several weeks ordering passports, getting fingerprinted, ordering marriage and birth certificates, writing checks, etc. Then when I faxed all our copies to the dossier consultant she found all sorts of problems with them. The most notable being that the medical evaluation report my doctor signed included a dreaded "abnormal." Damn. What this means is that although I have already made 6, yes 6!!! visits to this stupid doctor's office to get him to fill out all these forms correctly with no white out and all the spaces filled in... the form is completely useless. I'm going to have to go be tested again. This will mean at least another 3 visits to the doctor's office and probably another 2 weeks of time. Frustrating. Also, the DC (dossier consultant) pointed out to me that the file numbers on the background check and the county clerk statement that no files exist do not match. Thus creating more driving around chasing papers that everyone knows and admits do not exist. So like I said frustrated.

On the positive side I did receive my employment verification form from the firm today... they have been really great!! Not like Bobby's work who has been a total pain in the a**. They kept telling us that what we wanted them to put in the letter was impossible and illegal. I love that one. I really had to hold back from telling him that I work for one of the largest law firms in the state and they had absolutely no problems putting the language I requested.

I was really hoping to have all our documentation complete by this Sunday when the SW comes. They have promised me that once all our docs are together we can have a rough draft of our homestudy in 7-10 days!!!

OK, lots of people are interested in how much this whole process costs and are afraid to ask. I know I was and I searched the internet to try to confirm the figures. The quick answer that everyone seems to give is, about $20,000. I have been very curious about how accurate that figure is so, I'm going to keep track of all the expenses and be fairly detailed if possible and we will see. I have a feeling that ours may go higher than average because we live in California where the homestudy fees are a LOT more than in other states.

I have to say, it bothers me tremendously when people say things about China "selling" their children. The huge majority of the costs (about 90%) are for things that are done here in the US and travel.

EXPENSES (to date):
$200 --Homestudy agency application fee
$2400--Homestudy agency fee
$500--Prepaid homestudy post placement fee
$218--Passport application fee including photos (2 x $109)
$130 --Live scan fingerprint fee (CA state req't) (2 x $65)
$126--Birth Certs --LA Cty for Susan(3), Brett(2) and Casey(2) ($18 ea)
$16--Birth Cerfificates --Michigan for Bobby(3)
$39--Marriage Certificates --San Bernardino Cty (3 x $13)
$80--Co payments for medical evaluations (4 x $20)
$200--Adoption agency-- Harrah's-- application fee
$1900--Harrah's 1st installment fee
$300--Harrah's dossier consultant fee
$30--Local background checks (2 x $15)
$20--Notary for background checks
$511--In state Dossier Consultant fee Papermidwife
$545--I600a filing fee (USCIS)
$140--USCIS fingerprinting fee (2 x $70)
$1900--Harrah's 2nd installment fee
$610--CCAA fee
$500--Post placement deposit to Harrah's (to be refunded when post placement reports completed)
$24--Passport photos for dossier
$545--2nd I600a filing fee (missed the free one by 21 days)
$210--2nd USCIS fingerprint charge (3 x $70) had to do Brett's this time also!
$30--2nd child abuse clearance (2 x $15)
$80--Co-payments for medical evals (4 x $20)
$620 --homestudy update and mileage
$32--fed ex homestudy to uscis
$32 --fed ex LOA to Harrah's
$260 --Visas (2x130)
$3789 --airfare to/from BJ, Nanchang to GZ, GZ to home with extra seat
$1199 --in China hotels in Nanchang and GZ
$3000 --orphanage fee
$345 --registration
$180 --Georgie's passport
$595 --Notary
$400 --Georgie's visa fee
$90 --Medical and visa photo
$500 --interpreter guide fee
$50 --wire transfer fee
$250 --in china transportation, shuttle/buses
$1384 --BJ tour/hotels/shows
$3500 --food, spending money, tips
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$27,448 --Total