Wednesday, June 28, 2006

I love this graphic, its just so cute! Our DTC group has started a weekly book club, sort of. Each week a new children's book is posted. Many people don't have any children's books yet so its a good way for them to get started. But, for me, its a way to learn about some new books and authors. I'm a book lover, for sure.

Reading to my boys was such a big part of their childhood. Every evening after their bath we would sit down and read books. Over and over. Dr Seuss and some of my other fav's The Owl and the Pussycat, Can't you Sleep Little Bear, and these funny little Patrick books. Of course, there were those nights when it was like, ok, let's read the shortest book possible. That's when you go straight for the one-minute-bedtime-story book LOL! Then, as children do, they got older and they would read to me. Bedtime story became less and less frequent until it stopped all together. Now, I can hardly get my kids to give me a nod when I come in the door. They're busy, doing their own thing and, on one hand, that's good. They're becoming adults and gaining independence, separating themselves a little so they can go out and live their own lives. But it makes me sad.

Thing is, even though I enjoyed evening story time for the most part, I also sometimes thought of it as drudgery. I didn't really feel like doing it all the time. Not just story time but lots of the little kid stuff. I didn't realize then what I realize now, which is, kids are only little for such a short time. Enjoy it!!!

I can't wait to read stories to Baby Girl.

Sunday, June 18, 2006

Today was Father's Day. Its a day that, throughout my life, I have paid very little attention to. I've never really had a father--Mother's Day has always been the biggie in my life. I've spent most of my life thinking that having a male parental unit didn't matter and it wasn't really necessary for one's happiness. I've always thought, and said, that I was so glad that in my life I had no father rather than a crappy one. So many of the people I've known have had fathers who were drunks, or creeps, or whatever.

I'm starting to question my long held beliefs. I'm not sure if its because I see how lucky my kids are to have a "dad" or if it has something to do with the amount of thought I've given to my future daughter never knowing her birthparents. Its possible that its merely related to my general sad state about all the things in my life over which I have no control. In any event, much has been written and discussed on the online groups about how our children will more than likely feel a sense of loss associated with never knowing their birthparents or having any information about them. I suppose if we're making comparisons that, on one hand, I'm way ahead of the game. I know and have met the person who contributed 50% of my DNA. I can look in the mirror and see the evidence--my very fair skin and very dark hair. So I have a "father"--I'm grounded in my sense of heredity. But I never had a "dad." The sperm donor left my life just after I entered kindergarten so he never really learned anything about me, or me about him. He didn't witness my sorrow in the sad times of my life or share in my joy at the highpoints. So even though I have the visual, the shell, there's nothing really of substance to the memory. Who is he? Who was he? I don't know.

Baby Girl will never have a "father" --she will never have a photo or a visual memory of either of her birthparents. She will never be able to look into the mirror and see a resemblance to someone who's come before. But, she will have a "dad." She will have someone to read her stories, pick her up when she cries, sit in the front row at her school holiday program, and cheer for her from the sidelines of her chosen sport.

To me it seems abundantly clear that having a "dad" is immeasurably better than having just a "father." There are some people who do not share this opinion. Many anti adoption people and, yes, they do exist, think that the biological connection is paramount. That it is paramount to happiness to share genes with a known entity.

I wonder what Baby Girl will think.

Friday, June 02, 2006

New Yahoo Group! Hello all. I've done it! I have been so enjoying participating in the OHGWQ --One Hundred Good Wishes Quilt yahoo group. For a while I've been thinking about starting a similar type group to swap themed scrapbook pages. So the other day, I did it. Donna, a fellow waiting mom, had put together this logo when I proposed Ladybug Hunters as a name for our DTC group. The group ended up going with a different name but when I decided to start the group I emailed Donna and asked if it would be OK if I used the logo. Not only did she say "yes" but she became my first official member! For anyone who's interested in getting more info you can check out the group at this address: