the long and winding road...

Today has not been a great day for the CAC (Chinese Adopting Community). Why? you may ask. Well, it's referral time and it's not looking good. I was reading back my post from 2/18 and noticed that at that time I was reporting that referrals were to cover LID's 5/13/05 -->?? Those question marks turned out to be 5/25. OUCH!! Only 10 days of referrals. When we started this process in September 2005 referrals came out about once a month and referred about a month of LID's. Sometimes more, sometimes a little less. Today, the rumor mill is now quoting that March referrals will only cover LID's 5/26-5/30 or maybe 5/31. Bigger ouch!!! It really seems as though the entire process has coming to a screeching halt. There's lots of speculation as to why this may be the case ie. abnormally huge, historic level high dossiers in May, the Hunan baby trafficking problems, etc. It seems like maybe its a combination of things. But, whatever it is, it is completely outside of my control. Realization of that fact did not stop me from feeling pretty sad today. I had put in my mind a worse case scenario of Feb 2007 for travel. My worst case scenario needs to be amended. It could be April or even later... I know that it will eventually happen and I'm trying to look on the bright side and see the positives of more time but still the uncertainty of it all does get to me sometimes. Today is one of those times.

I posted to my Yahoo group a list of potential positives for having a longer wait. Among them were:
1. More time to work on my Mandarin
2. More time to save money for trip and SHOPPING
3. More time to work on nursery and shop for baby items
4. More time to learn to quilt well enough that I actually make the Good Wishes Quilt and have it ready by the time that Baby Girl gets here
5. More time to read all the adoption related books I've purchased and am still interested in.
6. If we don't travel til summer there would be no reason for Brett to not make the trip with us!! (This is the only one I really like)

I could go on but you get the point. The problem with the list is each "positive" generally starts with "more time" which, of course, means more time waiting, waiting for Baby Girl. Like I said, I'm kinda down. Sorry if you were looking for a little pick me up, it's not happening here today.