Thursday, November 27, 2008

Very thankful
Yesterday was a big day!!! My last day of work for 10 weeks!!! I can't believe it... 70 days of no work!!!! Yeah!! Not a minute too soon either because it seemed that until I stopped working I wasn't going to be able to move forward with packing and all the final things that need to be done. On my way home, I stopped by and got the last form I needed for the trip--an immunization form-- notarized. Five minutes and, just like that, the last piece of paper was complete!! Its been a long road.

Today was a pleasant day, very relaxing. I did a streamlined version of the feast just to keep things simple. Brett's home from school which always makes the house feel more warm. Its weird because, when he's gone, I don't really miss him--not in the way I thought I would. He's gone and doing what he needs to do, I'm glad he's moving forward with his life, I feel like he's safe so, overall, its ok that he's not here. But, when he's home, the house just feels more complete. Even if he's upstairs or somewhere doing his own thing, its so much more comfortable with him here.

Its been just the four of us for so long. In just 9 days we will officially become a family of 5. I can't believe it!!! I'm thrilled and, truth be told, a little terrified. We're sailing fast into completely uncharted waters. The slow boat to China that we've been on for the last 3-1/2 yrs has become a speed boat. And, to keep the water metaphors going, I'm a little afraid of crashing and drowning. Is that weird?

I feel guilty being so frightened or even seeming like I'm questioning. There are literally thousands of people who would be overjoyed to be in my shoes. I'm overjoyed to be in my shoes. I know how fortunate I am, not just in the IA sense but in all areas of my life. I have two beautiful, intelligent, healthy, happy children. I have a wonderfully supportive husband who has always been there for me. We are fortunate enough to have jobs that work for us and afford us the ability to have a nice life and put our kids through college. Its all pretty good. I hope this is the right thing. I believe it is but, I'm really getting nervous. Will I be able to meet this challenge?

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