ADOPTING IS THE NEW BLACK
Interesting. Apparantly this is a new tshirt being put out by Urban Outfitters. I've never bought anything there, never even been in one of the stores.
Recently, the existence of this tshirt has caused quite a stir on the online IA groups. I was intrigued that some people thought it was "racist" --at first they didn't understand that "the new black" meant fashionable --really had to chuckle on that one!! Anyway. Once that was cleared up it still appeared that the overwhelming majority thought the tshirt was horrible, awful, and over the top offensive. I guess I'm in the mini-minority here. It just doesn't have that effect on me.
Like it or not, IA has become part of the mainstream--quite suddenly really. And, its not primarily because its been going on with Korean adoptions since the 50s and thousands upon thousands of families have been created this way. Its because of Angelina Jolie, not her really, but the media's preoccupation with selling magazines that keep certain people in the public eye so that mega rich corporate movie studios can get people to go to the movies and buy the DVDs and they can make even more MONEY!!!!
On another group, someone made the very accurate point that all of this media frenzy is very effective. How long ago was it that Paris What's-She-Do?? Hilton started carrying around a little dog in her purse. People and US and all the other fun to read mags had pix of it. Suddenly, little tiny purse dogs were all the rage. Target has a whole aisle devoted to cute little doggie items and accessories to go along with the pets. The onslaught of media coverage was very effective and started a huge "trend" --the trend is waning now. I see that Paris now is dragging around a new kind of creature in her bag. Hopefully all the little dogs who were bred and adopted are now still being cared for carefully and not abused or dropped off at the local shelter. Little dogs, particularly chihuahuas are a lot of work.
Definition of "trendy" from dictionary.com:
1. of, in, or pertaining to the latest trend or style.
2. following the latest trends or fashions; up-to-date or chic: the trendy young generation.
3. appealing to faddish taste: a trendy hotel. –noun
4. a trendy person, place, object, or idea.
[Origin: 1960–65]
I know some will blast me for this, but I think IA has become a bit "trendy" --it is in "style" and commonplace to many due to the media and celebrity involvement. I know for a fact that there are people who are adopting for what I will call "THE WRONG REASONS" --on this blog I get to say what "THE WRONG REASONS" are because, well, its my blog. The wrong reason is:
As a charity project --complete with church-sponsored save-an-orphan spaghetti dinner fund raisers. These are the same people who believe and say to others of China "they kill their girls there" and want to feel good about themselves about doing this charitable thing and want to be seen as saving part of the world through their actions (I'm sorry if this hurts someone's feelings but YUCK!!!)
This, my cyber friends, is the trendy part.
Now, if you disagree with my statement you are more than welcome to write in your own blog about how my reason is "wrong" --my reason for anyone who is still reading or even cares is:
Because we want to add a member to our family
And, for the record, I believe quite strongly that the majority of people adopting do so for this reason, the right reason. They have had fertility issues, they chose adoption because they believe that they don't need to give birth to a child in order to have a child, etc. But at the core is the desire to parent and not to do a charitable act.
To those "trendy" adopters who are entering this process due to the "trend" I really hope that somewhere along the way, sooner rather than later, you get with the program. Because when your kid disappoints and frustrates you (which will happen I guarantee at some point in time cuz well, they're people) you're going to be pretty unhappy that they're not more appreciative of your charitable act.
As far as the "trend" for IA --I believe it too will pass. Eventually, AJ with or without Brad will complete her little family, people will move onto something else to talk and think about. There will be fewer links on the front page of msn.com to IA sites. People will look into it and think, wow!! that's a lot of work!
But, there will always be people who want to build their families and add a new member for whom adoption is the answer and they will do research and finally be led to IA.
Families will still be made this way but, it won't be "trendy"
2 comments:
I do agree that the reason to adopt should be because you want to add a child to your family. I disagree with your aversion to people who adopt because it is promoted at their church. I'm sure that some of these people are doing it for the wrong reasons. However, I have to believe that most people do it because there is a child who needs a home and they want to parent another child. Wanting to add another child to your family and wanting to "rescue" a child are not mutually exclusive. Case in point, a woman in my church (she is a teacher and is NOT rich) has four biological children. She has learned of a 13 year old girl in Vietnam who is in an orphanage because her mother is dying. The girl is a twin and the mother kept the other daughter so that the girl could care for her. This woman does happen to be "rescuing" a child from a terrible situation. She is adopting a child that most people wouldn't. She has educated herself and knows that everything won't be rosey and that there will probably be some issues. However she wants to love this child and provide a home for her. There are probably 20 - 30 families at my church who have adopted and I just don't see a "club" mentality. Many have adopted children with special needs. The people I know are very sincere and they want to add to their families. I also suspect that many of them have gone into debt to adopt. Perhaps they wouldn't be adopting if they hadn't been educated about adoption at our church but I do believe that the people I know have true intentions. Thanks for allowing me to provide my opinions on your blog!
interesting perspective, most of which I agree with.
I do think that we can be charitable by accepting/adopting a child in front of us that is in need of a good home. I also think that going to impoverished places with a huge abundance of orphans can be done as a charitable act, perhaps led by the heart.
I don't think China is that place anymore.
For me China was efficient, timely (HA), and simply the best way to have a relatively low risk, relatively healthy infant.
For me...
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