Thursday, September 07, 2006

Brett turned 18 today!!!! Wow, what a strange feeling. He is legally, if not emotionally, an adult. Presumed to know the difference between right and wrong and expected by the government to be responsible for his actions. Hmmm. Did something change between yesterday and today? He had to register for the Selective Service aka The Draft. That was depressing. I love the way they've PC'd it --Selective Service makes it sound like something so special, you have the opportunity to be selected to serve.

We are deep into college planning mode. So many decisions to be made and the outcome is primarily out of our control. I mean, yes we're in control of which schools to apply to and making sure that everything is done on time, etc. But its the outcome that is so uncertain. It seems to be the story of our lives at this point in time. Try, try, try and hopefully something will pan out. I hate "hoping" --it seems so passive. I want to be able to do something about it, to control the outcome. But, I guess I need to recall the Alcoholics Prayer:

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can; and
the wisdom to know the difference.


Living one day at a time;
enjoying one moment at a time;
accepting hardship as the pathway to peace.

Ok, I know I'm an atheist and not an alcoholic but still its good advice, right? "Accept the things I cannot change" --ummm how do you know they cannot be changed until you try? When do you know you've tried enough? I guess that's where the "wisdom to know the difference" comes into play. The second verse strikes me as very "asian" --honestly, I think it could be one of those chinese poems --the idea that a person must accept and perhaps even welcome hardship as a part of life and a requirement to peace. I don't know about that. Does finding peace require walking a difficult path? Maybe we don't have the ability to recognize peace or happiness until after we have experienced restlessness and sadness. Not sure.
I am trying so hard not to live in the future. I want to avoid spending so much time thinking about where I'm trying to get that I forget to think about today. But its hard.

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