Traveler IQ test

It's kind of a geography test too! Funny thing is, I don't think I ever learned any geography. I swear I cannot recall ever learning that in school. Did I miss those days or something???

I wasn't good enough at the test to get past 6 levels-- there are a total of 12! My score was around 158,000 and my travel IQ was 90. I guess that's no so bad :-)

Give it a try (Hint: guessing is good!)

http://www.minijuegosgratis.com/juegos/hwdykyworld/hwdykyworld.html?a456=c6ba

Twenty-three ......
Another month down. I wish I could think of something profound to say. I wish I could think of something profound to think. But I can't, it just... is.


Twenty three months is a really long time. When we first applied in 8/05:

1. Bobby and I were both 39 --I'm now 41, Bobby's 42 (tomorrow).
2. Brett was just starting his junior year of high school --he's in college now.
3. Casey was starting the 9th grade --he's now halfway through his junior year.
4. Bobby's dad told us how much he looked forward to meeting "that little girl" --sadly Donnie passed away a year and a half ago.

If this adoption does ever happen, which is still a pretty big *if* at this point, I wonder what else will have changed in the meantime??

WHAT A DIFFERENCE A DAY MAKES

and not in a good way. Last time I posted was on 12/17, I was, at that time lamenting that the CCAA was only doing an average of 7 days per month. I was complaining that this meant that we would have to wait another 9 mos or so for referral and another two months for travel. I WISH!!!

So, they only did 5 days this time. Not too much of a difference you might think, but those are 5 really small days, 2 or 3 of them had no LIDs at all. If they would have gotten to 12/20 (a big day) things would be fine, sort of, I mean not great but, you know, OK. Getting to only 12/19 is not fine, not fine at all. Getting only through 12/19 sucks, really bad. What this now means is this: CCAA has cut the quota or whatever you want to call it for how many NSN kids they're going to refer in a month again. They're only referring about 25%-30% of the babies they were referring 2 yrs ago. If CCAA continues at this rate, and doesn't cut any further, and doesn't shut down for the Olympics, and nothing else goes wrong, we'd now be looking at referral in about 18 mos, from now. That would mean a total of 41 mos or so from our LID until referral, that would mean we'd get our rferral in June 2009 or so!!! And this is the "good" case. The "bad" case, I don't even like thinking about it, but her goes... The bad, and sadly more likely, case is that referrals will continue to slow, the quota will drop further, more and more SN referrals will be made per month pushing the NSN people back further and further. The bad news is the NSN program in China appears to be quickly winding down. The bad news is that if things slow more we may not get a referal until 2010, or even longer. The bad news is, I think its likely we may not come out of this process with a referral.... ever.

I cannot completely put into words how incredibly devastating this is. This child that I have dreamed of and hoped for, named and imagined spending time with is disappearing before my very eyes. I've gone through a fairly substantial period of depression. I've been sleeping a lot. Its not healthy really but, for awhile, its felt good. I'm coming to terms with the fact that it may not work out and it hurts like hell. Today, I feel numb, I don't really want to think about it anymore but I can't help it. I think about it all the time. I'm on the RQ site constantly looking for something that will make feel more hopeful about the sad state of affairs we find ourselves in: 2-1/2 yrs after beginning the process, 2 yrs after submitting our paperwork to China and I feel further away from completing the adoption than I did then. Pathetic.

I've started investigating other options. Its not that pretty. China has been the most common sending country for international adoption for several years. Now that China has become so unpredictable, families already logged in are doing several things including interim/concurrent adoptions from other countries while staying in the China line, ditching China for other countries and switching to SN in droves. People just starting the adoption process are also choosing other countries and going directly to SN. This means that the other programs are also getting over burdened. I feel like we're a day late and a dollar short, 3 hrs too late to the party, etc. We're also starting to age out of some of the programs. We're not too old to adopt necessarily but we're often too old for a child under the age of 2, some programs do not let families choose gender, some countries are less predictable than China!!! Now that's kinda scary. Domestic doesn't work for us for a number of reasons.

I would gladly consider a SN adoption, have been interested in doing so for over a year and half but, guess what, my agency has this ridiculous policy that families who are logged in over 6 mos cannot switch programs. Its a ridiculous and stupid rule which allows families who are just starting the adoption process NOW to choose and bring home a child while we will may find ourselves never doing so. Does anyone else see the insanity of this situation? Why do they do it?? My personal belief is that new families coming into the agency mean new dollars coming into the agency. They already have MY money so its kind of a fuck you!!!

So, here we sit, waiting 1 yr, 10 mos, 3 weeks and some odd days so far, ever "hopeful" that this process will not shut down before we recieve our referral. Hopeful but not secure.

Today's a bad day, tomorrow's not looking so good either.

22.....

As you can tell from my last post, its been awhile since I've blogged. Each month just brings more of the same. We're at 22 mos since LID now with 61 more LIDs to go before ours. CCAA is referring an average of 7 days of LIDs per month, we have 9 more weeks of LIDs to go which may mean 9 more months til referral. That would mean September for us. I cannot believe it! A year into this wait I was empathizing with those families who would/could get caught up in the Olympics issues. Never thought we'd be one of them, for sure. And guess what??? I do believe I'm right. If things continue to move along at this dismal pace, the Olympics will be over and done by the time we get to China. September referral would mean possibly November travel.

Right now, I'm just concentrating on trying to get other things accomplished like work, kid stuff, Christmas, etc. I really want to get to Baby G's room but haven't quite gotten there. We'll see.

5 DAYS??? SURELY THIS IS SOME FORM
OF TORTURE.

4 days, ugh!
So, I knew it was likely to be a small batch but I was really, really hoping they'd get to 11/27. There are hardly any RQ families logged in 11/26 and 11/27 and psychologically it would have been soooo much more satisfying. However, as I'm sure I should have learned by now, the CCAA is not too interested in being psychologically satisfying. There it is.

One good thing is, the monster month of November has just about been completed and we will most definitely (well, as definite as you can get in this horrendous process anyway) move into December with the October referral batch! Dec is smaller than Nov--as just about every month in the history of China adoption has been--so should, logically, go more quickly. I hate to use the word "logic" when discussing IA because there doesn't seem to be much involved but there it is.

My guess for next month's referrals are Dec 7th, that's being more optimistic than many other RQ'ers but I believe getting up to Pearl Harbor Day would be pretty good.

I cannot even express in words how excited I will be to see the first 2006 LID received their referral!!! We've been logged in for almost 19 mos now and the only thing that gives me any solace at all is looking at the line behind me. I do not for one second wish this wait on anyone else but I have to say it did give me some comfort to check out our agency info and see that there are only 4 of our agencies LID groups ahead of us and 41!!! behind us. OH MY GOD!!!!

Of course, people are jumping ship right and left. Many are finding their children on WC lists and many, many are switching countries. Vietnam seems to be the country of choice at this point in time with the referral times being pretty impressive. We would have considered Vietnam when we started but it was closed. Now there are people who switched and were DTV in 2007, referred and already traveled. I'm happy for them but pretty envious of the timeline. We're still waiting, and waiting, and waiting....

I cannot wait to get off this fricking ride!!! Until then, here are some ultra cuties to take my mind off my own troubles. Of course, I'm usually in tears by the end of the list.

Our Journey to Alice
A Mothers Joyful Heart
Rocking Chairs and a Tricycle
A Day in the Life
A Red Thread to China
Okie Angel
Journey to Sarah
Journey to Mya
Our Whole World in His Hands
Chasing Kayla
Journey to Lily Ann
Pelton Adoption
Going for Gracie
Our Sweet Melissa
Meet the Hintons
Afraine
Kenli’s Korner
Our Georgia Peach
Long Awaited Rose
Journey to Parenthood
Pension Cheques and Preschoolers
Kati

Your Sloth Quotient: 37%

You're a little lazy, but normally you're a very energetic and motivated person. Don't beat yourself up over a little laziness every now and then. You do need your downtime!

How Much Sloth Do You Have?

Mmmm, yes, I'd have to agree. The problem is I want to be lazy,

I just never get to be!!! Dang it all!

Pot watching: month 18
So, here we are. Yesterday marks our 18th month since LID. I chose this pic to commemorate this seemingly important date because it kind of looks like what I might imagine a dodo bird looking (Ok I realize its probably supposed to be a rooster but whatever!). I do feel like I'm going a a little nuts. This wait seems never ending. As everyone in the China IA program is probably aware, we signed on "when the wait was 6 mos" --that time has come and gone.

I'm not feeling very positive today. Over the last 18 mos I have had to deal with: the Hunan scandal, the bird flu, the toy recall, the Olympics issues, the new rules re: weight, income, singles, illness, anti-anxiety meds, as well as I171 updates, medical updates, homestudy updates, financial updates, etc, etc, etc. The latest news is that CCAA may begin or has already begun referring children with "repaired" special needs (SN) as NSN. With all these changes its hard to believe that all of us haven't gone a little crazy. I mean truly HOW MUCH MORE ARE WE SUPPOSED TO TAKE????

S0me PAPs believe that there is divine intervention and that they would accept the referral of any child "God chooses for them" --as I've stated before, I disagree. But what I really wonder is where does this end? Is there a point where the referral is so far outside of your request or your expectation that its ok, in your mind, to refuse without CCAA wrath. Should you be required, as a waiting family, to adopt ANY child referred to you? What if you asked for a AYAP NSN girl (the most common request) and you were referred a NSN 10 mo old boy? many would say, that's fine, that's what fate/CCAA/God/"insert your higher power here" thought was best, we accept. What if the referral was for a healthy 7 yr old girl? or a 2 yr old boy with a heart condition? or a highly functioning 6-1/2 yr old girl with spina bifida? or a 4 yr old boy with ambiguous genitalia? or a 2 yr old deaf child? I guess each family would have to make their own decision. Personally, on that small list, there are some I would likely accept, and some I would not.

This whole process is getting scarier and scarier. And with each new ripple, we are constantly being told by "them" that IA is a "leap of faith", "its about finding families for children not children for families", "we wouldn't have a choice if they were bio kids", and the other China families' rhetoric. The fact of the matter is, it does work out for most. Most people who adopt from china don't have many problems at all, their referral is basically what they expected and they're very pleased with the child they are referred and finally parent, and that's good. But what if you're not one of those lucky ones-- does it really matter to you if 499 out of 500 China adoptions go fine if you're that 500th family? I would say, probably not.

This is a very uncertain process. It isn't helped by all the changes that have been made to the program over the last year or so. I also think that having access to so much info has made it a little scarier. I'm certainly not opposed to having more info but it does bring the negative more to the forefront which, in turn, seems to increase stress and worry.

So, 18 mos down and ????? to go. I can only imagine what rumors and info will come along in the next 8-10 mos or so. Hopefully its something good for a change!

Babies, babies!!! (and one lovely 13 yr old girl):

Referrals came out on 8/2/07. They covered Nov 14-21, exactly as I had expected. We're making progress, we now have 84 LIDs ahead of us. I checked and it looks like we had 294 ahead of us when we logged in way back in Feb 2006. So, at least as far as a countdown goes, we're 72-1/2% of the way there. My best guess for "when" we can expect our referral is still May 2008. Of course, I'm always hoping for sooner!

Congratulations to all the families who received referrals in this batch. The babies are soooo beautiful! I can't wait til its our turn!

To China for Love

Vivian Xiao-Ge

Waiting for Landree

Jukanovich

Jiejie and Meimei

Winding Vines

Alyssa Brooke

Baby Berwick

Becky Singleton Blog

And Shayla Makes Three

Doodlebug’s Baby Bug

Donna and Jeff

The Ost Family

Nevada Clan

Waiting for Junie

Alexandra Li

Michayla Comes Home

Tada

Beyer Family

The Story of Mattie

Fertilely Challenged

Alyssa

Emily Jia Yi

Lyndsay Schmidt
The following blogs have referral, but no picture yet:
Journey to Ava login: Journey to Ava pass: bogard

RedBurke Family
The following blogs are expecting their referral in this batch:
Our Journey To Faith

Quilt shop field trip!!!
I've got the 100 Good Wishes Quilt (OHGWQ) Frenzy!!! I think its just a super neat and fun idea. I'm crafty by nature but had never done any sewing. My quest to make a OHGWQ caused me to buy a sewing maching and take quilting classes. I've found a new hobby I really enjoy (as if I need a new hobby!!).

I joined the OHGWQ group on yahoo and have swapped with my LID/DTC group mates. But, really, the wishes that will be the most special to me and Baby Girl will be those that come from friends and family. Thing is, most of my friends and family just don't get it at all! Particularly my work friends who said that they'd like to participate but didn't know where to start.

In order to make it easier, I planned an afternoon field trip to the local quilt shop so they could pick out their fabrics. Then I brought in some craft supplies so they could all create their wishes. And, of course, it included FOOD!! It was great!!! Everyone picked their fabrics and made a wish. They all turned out really nice and each one suits the maker's personality to a T!

Thank you so much to Johann, Charlene, Dawn, Maria, and Jen for participating. It really means a lot to me!

First, everyone had to choose their fabrics. Maria chose a fabric panel with quilt labels specially made for baby quilts! Dawn went with a super pastel, very girlie floral print. Very pretty.

Char went girlie girl with pink hearts! Johann has caught onto the ladybug thing. He zeroed in on what was probably the only ladybug print fabric in the whole store! Jen picked the ultra fun sock monkeys on pogo sticks!!!

Maria wins the award for using the most different kinds of decorations: multiple layers of paper, punch outs, ribbon, brads, and sparkley flowers were all used to make this super girlie wish!!

Dawn's wish is so pretty, it looks great in this pic but even prettier in person. She cut the fabric in a star shape to go along with the "Twinkle, twinkle" poem she used. The pink ribbon was the perfect finishing touch!!

Johann spent a long time writing a very beautiful wish to our future child. He then carefully cut out little ladybugs and flowers to decorate the wish! Very thoughtful.

Charlene's wish which includes hand drawn elements and, of course, a DOLPHIN sticker. Char LOVES dolphins!

I did it!!! I got songs onto my blog! I used esnips --I saw it on someone else's blog and I figured it out. Favorite song of the moment: "Daughter" by Loudon Wainwright. Its from the movie Knocked Up which I just loved.

Anyway, I set it up so you have to press play to hear because I had read complaints from some people that they don't like when the music comes on automatically in case they're listening at work or playing their own stuff or whatever.

Yeah for me!!! I'm totally on my way to being a hacker :-)

July Referrals: (7/5/07)
Meimei Maia
Getting our Girls
The Quest for Cadence
Sara Eaker baby’s name = Sara Eaker password = ladybug
Waiting for Kailee
Baby Girl Olivia
Molly’s Homecoming
Welcome home, little one
Meinkleinermarienkaefer
Journey to Eliana Grace
Willa Girl
Waiting for you
Our Journey to Mei Mei
Precious Penelope
Baby Krupek
The Three Whos
Our Journey to Aubrey
Niedz
Eleanor Keener baby’s name = Eleanor Keener
Gracie Sweet Name: Gracie Sweet


So, they did 7 days. This was slightly better than I thought they might do. I think they'll go throught the 21st in Aug, do just a few days in Sept and finish up Nov in Oct. Then it will be off to Dec. I cannot wait until they get to the 2006 LIDs, its going to be great!!! I removed another 7 paperclips from my paperclip calendar leaving me with 91 more LIDs before ours. I suppose its getting closer. I feel like we're still on track for May 2008. Let's hope!

Technology and I have a love/hate relationship...
I think I was born at the wrong time, as far as technology goes. I'm young enough that I'm supposed to understand how stuff works and use it for work and play. But, I was born before tech stuff had really arrived to the average person and so lack a fundamental comfort and understanding of all things wired. At least that's the excuse that I like to use!

Because my mom forced me, I took "Typing" in high school. I also took "Shorthand" --is there anyone on the face of the planet younger than 35 or so even knows what shorthand is??? I doubt it. I learned to type on a manual typewriter (ding, typewriter slap with the right hand to return to the left margin). It didn't correct, you had to stick a little piece of correct-o-type paper in there and re-type over the letter to white it out. Its hard to believe anything ever got done in those days, it was incredibly inefficient. We had 2 "modern" electric typewriters in the classroom but they were reserved for the two fastest typists in the class and that was NEVER me. I didn't have an electric typewriter until Bobby bought me one when I was in my first year of law school --it had auto correct A WHOLE LINE'S WORTH!!! It was great! So, anyway, that's my excuse for being technologically challenged.

I've had an iPod for a little over a year now. Bobby bought it for me for my birthday last year, I purchased a very pretty little pink cover for it --then never used it. Didn't know how. It seemed hard. So, finally I got up the nerve to (hold your breath) PLUG IT IN!! Ok, so it took me HOURS to figure out but I got it! The iTunes thing was pretty easy but then I tried to branch out by using emusic.com for a download to add to the iTunes account... it was very confusing to my little brain but, I did it, and now I have TONS of songs on my iPod. Yeah!!!

Now, if I could just figure out how to get one of those songs here, on my blog, I’d have proof that I was entering the new millenium. Maybe next weekend, I think I've used up all my tech efforts for awhile!

New Look --part 2

I was always so envious when I would see some of the pretty things people had done with their blogs. A few weeks back I made some changes and was fairly pleased but wasn't able to get the look I really wanted due to my technological challenges. Then an online friend offered to help me and look what she did!!! All I said was I wanted something girly, flowery and pastel --HERE IT IS!!!

I am so excited, its like I have a newly furnished room in my house.

Isn't it G*O*R*G*E*O*U*S ???