I have been "tagged" by someone to do a "meme" --basically what this means is you answer questions about yourself on your blog. If you're reading this, please also consider yourself "tagged" then post a comment with a link to let me know and I'll come visit!

Here goes:

*Your child's Chinese name (assuming s/he has or will have one)…areyou a) using it as a middle name, b) using it as a first name or c)not using it at all? Why?
I am in charge of the naming, Bobby said I could!!! Pretty much, I've decided Chinese names, 2nd and 3rd, combined as second middle name. Therefore: Zaida Rose ChineseName Crowell

Red threads - yes or no? Discuss.
Not a big believer in Red Threads or people being "meant to be together" at all. I do believe that we will receive the baby that it is perfect for our family because we will love her and accept her unconditionally and then we will never be able to imagine life without her as our daugher. I have developed a fondness for ladybugs but I don't really think they're lucky, just cute!

*What are you most looking forward to experiencing with your child/what do you most enjoy doing with your child?
I'd have to say all of it. We already have two kids and so I often think fondly of the things we will be able to experience again ie. tricycles, singing Disney songs in the car, making cookies, bedtime stories, first day of school, AYSO soccer, school projects and field trips... Yeah!!! I'm also looking forward to some things that will be new with a daughter like pink clothes, hair bows, and dolls!!!

*Have you been reading a lot of adoption books? Any recommendations?
Not a lot. I have read A Passage to the Heart, 1/2 of Wanting a Daughter Needing a Son (I want to finish but its very dry and academic) and, of course, every single post on APC for over a year!!! I also read Chinese Cinderella which is not an adoption book but very interesting.

*What will/do you miss most about your life pre-parenthood?
Well, we've been parents for 18 years so I can't even remember what life was like "pre-parenthood" --however, although I don't know if I'll miss it, jumping into the car to accomplish anything will be more difficult.

*Have you started your nursery, or are you waiting until the timegets closer?
We haven't started but I certainly know what I want it to look like. I'm actually thinking about making the bedding myself since it looks like we'll have so much time but may chicken out. I guess we're waiting til things get a little closer.

*Lifebook - excited to start or terrified of screwing it up?
Of the two options I would say I'm more excited to start than afraid of screwing it up. I've followed the yahoo lifebook site and I believe very strongly that it will be something I will do. Plus, I'm a scrapbooker.

*What hobby do you secretly hope your child will take up and love?
Playing an instrument. But mostly I just hope she finds something she is passionate about. Both my boys have chosen sports and activities I would have never chosen for them but I have grown to enjoy watching.

*Co-sleeping - "well of course" or "maybe but I just don't see any ofus would sleep"?
I don't think co-sleeping is something for our family. I reserve final judgment til she's actually here.

*If you'd had sole choice of your child's name (assuming you didn't),would it have been different? Wanna tell us what?
I have sole choice. Bobby said pick a name then tell him what it is and how to spell and pronounce it and he'll be fine with it.

*Are your family and friends really supportive of your decision toadopt?
Yes, very supportive. I have had a few weird comments but I don't believe any were intended to be unkind.

*What is your biggest fear while in China?
My biggest fear is that we will be referred a child that has severe health issues. I really feel for adoptive parents who arrive to find a child that has life-altering health issues. There but for the grace...

*In the movie of your life, who plays you?
If I'm the casting director I'm going to take some serious artistic license and choose.... Julia Roberts!!!

*Sleeping. Light on, light off?
Whatever, I fall asleep so fast it doesn't matter to me LOL!!!

*China - experiment with food or not?
I'm pretty experimental. There are some things I won't eat ie. rats, cats, dogs, intestines.

*Are you planning on learning some Chinese?Maybe a few helpful phrases.
Actually, I purchased the Pimsleur CD's then took a class at a local community college. Its fun but hard. I stopped listening to the CD due to my general depression over lengthening referrals but I've been feeling better lately and I think I'm ready to start again.

*Will this be your only adoption?
Almost undoubtedly. I wish we could adopt again but its very unlikely.

*To bow or not to bow?
Oh yes, I love the hairbows!!! I'm planning on doing the great big ones for as long as she'll let me. There will be only a very short time when I'll be able to dress her however I want. Oh joy!!!

*What about the 100 wishes quilt?
Definitely. Already started and because I belong to the OHGWQ group I'm planning on making an ABC and a World quilt as well. I've actually taken up quilting with my mom. Way fun!!!

*Favorite vacation destination?
The best place for a family vacation is Hawaii. Its slow, you don't have to dress up unless you want to and everyone speaks english so its easy.

*What TV show are you most looking forward to starting this fall?
I will admit it, I love TV! I want to see Survivor (which just started--groups divided by race, very interesting social experiment), Lost (dumb, I know, but we're addicted) and when the heck does American Idol start up again???

*Patient? Not Patient?I think I am, but the Goobie (quickly) says Not.
Good lord, no. Not at all, not even one little tiny itty bitty bit.

*Favorite sport to watch?
Basketball. Jeez I hope the Lakers do better this year. Can't stand Kobe but I have to root for the hometown team.

*Chocolate or Vanilla?
Ummm... strawberry.

*What's your favorite China adoption blog?
Probably my own. I always feel so much better after I write in it. People I know have read it, its weird to have people you know seeing my inside thoughts.

*Finally what is your guess for how far they will get with referrals this month?
I'm going with the RQ rumor, 8/15. If so I will have 183 more LIDs before mine.

PROGRESS AT LAST!!

I cannot explain the thrill I feel that at least we know that the CCAA is looking at the 2006 dossiers!!! There have been rumors for a few weeks that families logged in in Jan and Feb had been getting calls for additional info. So far, we haven't heard a thing and I'm hoping we don't!! I'm crossing my fingers that we sail through and don't need any additional medical info. We had such a problem with our doctor last time I can't even imagine if we had to go back to him for something.

Unfortunately, although I am a confirmed slave to the Rumor Queen site, it appears that the leaky faucets and loose lips that were a prior source of information about upcoming referral cutoffs, etc are no longer talking. In the words of someone, the CCAA is now "hermetic" with little to no info coming out. However, there was a rumor a day or so ago that perhaps referrals would go through 8/15 --since the last cutoff was 7/22 that would be a very exciting 24 days of referrals!!! That may actually sound better than it is because apparantly there are very, very few LIDs in the first part of August. But, for someone like me, with a 2/13/06 LID, I'm just hoping to get through as many days as possible. There are presently 207 LIDs to be matched before ours, so 24 days would bring us down to 183. That would feel really good and may even make me feel like this thing is possible. Lately, I've really felt like down about the whole situation and have been feeling like its never going to happen.

Today, for the second day in a row, I played hookie from work. I woke up yesterday morning, showered and got ready to go to work and then thought, "umm no, I don't think so." So I stayed home. It was wonderful, so wonderful in fact, that I repeated it today!!! What did I do with my free time you may ask??? Not a thing. Well, I did manage to make it out to Ross and I found the cutest little outfit for Baby Girl. It has very soft black corduroy pants with flowers ebroidered at the hem, a light pink t shirt and the cutest little pink overjacket with black and white zebra print lining!!! I got a 12 mos. I haven't purchased too many outfits but this one was too great to pass up.... $12.99!!!

OK, well off to bed I go now, gotta go to work tomorrow, or do I??????

Brett turned 18 today!!!! Wow, what a strange feeling. He is legally, if not emotionally, an adult. Presumed to know the difference between right and wrong and expected by the government to be responsible for his actions. Hmmm. Did something change between yesterday and today? He had to register for the Selective Service aka The Draft. That was depressing. I love the way they've PC'd it --Selective Service makes it sound like something so special, you have the opportunity to be selected to serve.

We are deep into college planning mode. So many decisions to be made and the outcome is primarily out of our control. I mean, yes we're in control of which schools to apply to and making sure that everything is done on time, etc. But its the outcome that is so uncertain. It seems to be the story of our lives at this point in time. Try, try, try and hopefully something will pan out. I hate "hoping" --it seems so passive. I want to be able to do something about it, to control the outcome. But, I guess I need to recall the Alcoholics Prayer:

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can; and
the wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
enjoying one moment at a time;
accepting hardship as the pathway to peace.

Ok, I know I'm an atheist and not an alcoholic but still its good advice, right? "Accept the things I cannot change" --ummm how do you know they cannot be changed until you try? When do you know you've tried enough? I guess that's where the "wisdom to know the difference" comes into play. The second verse strikes me as very "asian" --honestly, I think it could be one of those chinese poems --the idea that a person must accept and perhaps even welcome hardship as a part of life and a requirement to peace. I don't know about that. Does finding peace require walking a difficult path? Maybe we don't have the ability to recognize peace or happiness until after we have experienced restlessness and sadness. Not sure.

I am trying so hard not to live in the future. I want to avoid spending so much time thinking about where I'm trying to get that I forget to think about today. But its hard.

The Official "Not-so-Great

Wait"

From, and including: Monday, February 13, 2006 (LID)
To, but not including : Wednesday, September 6, 2006

We have been officially waiting:
~~205 days from LID to today, not including today

In other words:

~~6 months, 24 days, or

~~29 weeks (rounded down), or

~~4920 hours, or

~~295,200 minutes, or

~~17,712,000 seconds.

YAHOOO!!! I am pleased to announce that Brett has completed his Eagle Scout project! Not that he waited til the last minute or anything but all requirements must be completed before he turns 18 --boys scouts by definition must be "boys" not 18 year old young men. And when does he turn 18 you may ask???? That's right, about a day and a half from now. He has been exactly one Eagle Scout project away from being an Eagle Scout for almost 2 years. There has been quite a bit of butt kicking going on in our house to make sure he finished it, but it worked!

So, I realize that many of you who are reading this don't really know me but let it be said, I am a wimpy girlie girl. Proud of it too! I detest hard physical labor with a passion. I do like to plant flowers but mostly I like purchasing them and deciding where they go. Usually I plant a couple then Bobby finishes up while I go get cold beverages, cuz like I said, I'm a wimp. OK, now that you have a visual, I tell my story:

Saturday morning we all wake up at around 6 am (hello!!! its a holiday weekend and its, you know, Saturday!!!) rush around to get ready and meet over at the church by 7 am. We end up with a couple helpers cuz like I said, holiday weekend. After making about 20 U turns to try to figure out the detours we make it up to Sky Forest in Lake Arrowhead. It was beautiful but by 11 oclock or so, it was hot!! About 90 degrees. Then began 6-1/2 hours of torturous work. We had to dig 22 holes with post hole diggers, set these huge 10 foot long fence posts with cross bars 11x14 feet, and concrete them in. It was hard. Using a post hole digger is really hard. I dug about 6 of those holes about 18-24 inches deep and I have to tell you, I thought I would die. My chest muscles were so sore the next day I felt like I'd done a quadrillion "I must, I must, I must increase my bust" exercises.

Brett worked really hard and I think he's learned a lot from this experience about organization, etc. Casey was a total trooper, he worked so hard and never whined. I was really proud of them both.

Although throughout the day I did have my doubts as to whether or not the job would be completed in one day, we did finish. Now all Brett has left is the Eagle board of review then it is finished!!! Now we need to get Casey going on finishing up his Eagle stuff. Brett's next step, college applications. Eeeek!!!

This graphic suits my mood perfectly! I am holding on to hope but it is sometimes very tough. My agency's new waiting child list came out this week and I looked at it very seriously. I've looked at all the lists before but have never felt a real connection to any particular child. (Of course, there was this one beautiful little boy that caught my eye once, he was gorgeous, those eyes... but, I already have two beautiful boys, I WANT A GIRL!). Anyway, so I searched the list and found not one but two beautiful little girls whose special needs I felt were something we could handle successfully! I thought and thought about them both, even had a friend's doctor husband look at their medical files (thank you Terrence) and read for hours about their conditions on the internet. Bobby and I talked about it a lot but finally, we decided, it just wasn't right for us at this time. I know that both those precious little girls are going to be snatched up by families that feel that they are perfect for them and I wish them long lives of health and happiness.

So, as always, I hold on to hope that someday--hopefully sooner rather than later-- we will find our little girl. The one that's meant to be ours forever. Maybe we will find her on an upcoming waiting child list or maybe we will have to wait for CCAA but I do think there is a precious little chinese baby girl out there who is waiting for us to be her family, or at least there will be. For now I'm hanging on to that thin red thread with all my might, hoping that the time will pass by quickly and we will find Baby Girl before the darn thread snaps in two.

"Between the wish and the thing,
life lies waiting."

~Unknown

Well, referrals came out yesterday, 9 stinking days. After the initial shock and awe I pulled another 9 paperclips off my paperclip calendar and changed my sign to 207 more LID's to be referred til mine. Ouch.

Found this on another blog:

We wait
while the snow clings
and the seeds sleep
and the earth turns.
*
We wait
while the heart sings
and the eyes weep
and the mind churns.
*
We wait
while the soul learns
that the love's deep.
So the hope springs,
as the dream burns
and the days creep
till the phone rings-
*
And she waits-

"How are you today?"
After one of the more stressful work mornings I've had in awhile, I quickly went around the drive through at the local McDonalds so I could stuff my face with some comfort food before racing off to my afternoon appearance (also guaranteed to be a nightmare). I was pretty much in my own little world-- turning up the air and fiddling with the radio while snapping my pink Razor shut as I ended a frustrating call with my son. Then, all of a sudden, there it was... the question.

It was posed by the young girl who stood beyond the window while she was placing the lid on the cup of my oh-so-desired Diet Coke. She was cute with her hair pulled back and neatly hidden under her McCap-- about 17 years old I'd reckon, if I was the "reckoning" sort. The way she asked left me with the impression that she didn't have a care in the world. That may not have been true. She may have had lots of stress gurgling behind that 17 year old smile. She may have had boyfriend problems, she may have been worried about failing highschool or not getting into the right college. She could have had horrendous family problems. Don't know. But, back to the question...

"How are you today?" she asked.

My immediate (and thankfully internal) response was "well, if you really want to know... its pretty tough here in Susanland. I'm under more pressure at this time of my life and feeling more out of control than I ever have, ever. I'm bombarded by work, parents, kids, and adoption frustrations. I'm part of the sandwich generation and I'M GETTING THE SQUEEZE! I FEEL TIRED ALL THE TIME AND SLEEP DOESN'T FIX IT!!! I'M READY TO JUMP OUT OF MY SKIN AND NOT JUMP BACK IN!!! I'M..."

"Fine, thank you" I responded, exuding calm.

I think I even managed a smile.

Its been a tough week or so. On 8/2/06 my father in law finally lost his 2 year battle with cancer. I'm going to miss him. I was going to post about it earlier, but haven't felt up to it, maybe I will later.

On the adoption front, we are now at 180 days past LID. The current wait time has increased to 13 mos and appears to be getting longer and longer. When we originally started this process, the wait was 6 mos, now some worst case scenarios have the wait stretching to 3 years!!! I think the worst case scenarios are just that "worst case" but still. The end of July referrals went through 7/13, let's hope CCAA can get through even one day of August. Even if waits stabilize meaning they start doing 30 days at a time, we would not have a referral until 2/07 and if they continue doing half months it would be August or September of 2007. Travel would likely be around Thanksgiving 2007!! That requires a serious adjustment to expectations. When we began this process, I was amusing myself with thoughts of having Baby Girl home by Christmas of this year.

The boards are filled with comments about the situation-- anger, frustration. Some people are choosing to shorten the wait by going with a Waiting Child. It may not really be intentional, it just may be that this excrutiating wait has allowed people a lot of extra time to sort through the Waiting Child lists to find the child that is perfect for them. Some are seriously considering changing programs. I continue to check the Waiting Child lists each time my agency gets one, but have not yet found our future child there. I have investigated changing programs but that does not seem like a good option for us at this time.

Korea~ rumor is they're not taking any more applications with the plan to phase out their IA program all together.

Vietnam ~was shut down a long time and just reopened. Not really too sure about this one yet. The first referrals since the program reopening are just coming home.

Russia~ seems to be having lots of problems.

Kazakstan (sp?) ~it has that 5 week in country plus I'm not very knowledgeable about the process.

Guatemala ~very expensive, seems to be going through some growing pains.

So, yeah, that brings us back to China. Not only that but I have become so China adoption focused that its hard for me to even "think outside the box" on this one. I just feel very strongly that my daughter is there. I so hope I'm right.

Today is probably the most down I've felt since the beginning of this process. We're on day 155 since LID and there is absolutely no end in sight. The wait appears to be increasing to the point where with each day that passes we get 2 days further away from a possible referral. There's lots of talk about the wait stretching out to 18 mos, 24 mos, or even longer!! What this means, among other things, is that we would be required to redo our immigration forms at a cost of about $1500 plus update our homestudy (don't know what this will cost yet). Other costs will likely follow. Besides the cost, I wonder at what point we will determine that this plan will not be feasible for our family. When do we say "enough is enough?" I know we're not there yet and waiting an extra year sucks but is still doable. But at some point, if the wait times continue to increase to ridiculous times, we may need to reconsider. As I type those words I feel the tears start. I've pretty much had a pit in my stomach all day long. I want so badly to be Baby Girl's mommy. I have already invested so much into this process and I'm not talking money. The things that have kept me going the last few months ie. shopping and planning for nursery decor, looking at names, reading other's blogs, surfing the yahoo groups, etc. just don't seem to be alleviating the stress of "the wait." I think it must be a common feeling because the number of posts on the groups per day has really decreased.

I can only imagine how much more difficult this must be for couples who do not yet have children. Some people have suffered through years of infertility and failed domestic and international adoptions. I experience my own sadness and know that theirs must be ten-fold. But, for today, I guess I don't have enough room at my pity party to invite them

Today's a bad day.

I am worth $1,696,578 on HumanForSale.com

Apparantly. Interestingly, I got a $2500 increase in value for watching TV "often" --that's kind of weird.

Your Blogging Type Is Thoughtful and Considerate

You're a well liked, though underrated, blogger. You have a heart of gold, and are likely to blog for a cause. You're a peaceful blogger - no drama for you! A good listener and friend, you tend to leave thoughtful comments for others.

What's Your Blogging Personality?

I love this graphic, its just so cute! Our DTC group has started a weekly book club, sort of. Each week a new children's book is posted. Many people don't have any children's books yet so its a good way for them to get started. But, for me, its a way to learn about some new books and authors. I'm a book lover, for sure.

Reading to my boys was such a big part of their childhood. Every evening after their bath we would sit down and read books. Over and over. Dr Seuss and some of my other fav's The Owl and the Pussycat, Can't you Sleep Little Bear, and these funny little Patrick books. Of course, there were those nights when it was like, ok, let's read the shortest book possible. That's when you go straight for the one-minute-bedtime-story book LOL! Then, as children do, they got older and they would read to me. Bedtime story became less and less frequent until it stopped all together. Now, I can hardly get my kids to give me a nod when I come in the door. They're busy, doing their own thing and, on one hand, that's good. They're becoming adults and gaining independence, separating themselves a little so they can go out and live their own lives. But it makes me sad.

Thing is, even though I enjoyed evening story time for the most part, I also sometimes thought of it as drudgery. I didn't really feel like doing it all the time. Not just story time but lots of the little kid stuff. I didn't realize then what I realize now, which is, kids are only little for such a short time. Enjoy it!!!

I can't wait to read stories to Baby Girl.

Today was Father's Day. Its a day that, throughout my life, I have paid very little attention to. I've never really had a father--Mother's Day has always been the biggie in my life. I've spent most of my life thinking that having a male parental unit didn't matter and it wasn't really necessary for one's happiness. I've always thought, and said, that I was so glad that in my life I had no father rather than a crappy one. So many of the people I've known have had fathers who were drunks, or creeps, or whatever.

I'm starting to question my long held beliefs. I'm not sure if its because I see how lucky my kids are to have a "dad" or if it has something to do with the amount of thought I've given to my future daughter never knowing her birthparents. Its possible that its merely related to my general sad state about all the things in my life over which I have no control. In any event, much has been written and discussed on the online groups about how our children will more than likely feel a sense of loss associated with never knowing their birthparents or having any information about them. I suppose if we're making comparisons that, on one hand, I'm way ahead of the game. I know and have met the person who contributed 50% of my DNA. I can look in the mirror and see the evidence--my very fair skin and very dark hair. So I have a "father"--I'm grounded in my sense of heredity. But I never had a "dad." The sperm donor left my life just after I entered kindergarten so he never really learned anything about me, or me about him. He didn't witness my sorrow in the sad times of my life or share in my joy at the highpoints. So even though I have the visual, the shell, there's nothing really of substance to the memory. Who is he? Who was he? I don't know.

Baby Girl will never have a "father" --she will never have a photo or a visual memory of either of her birthparents. She will never be able to look into the mirror and see a resemblance to someone who's come before. But, she will have a "dad." She will have someone to read her stories, pick her up when she cries, sit in the front row at her school holiday program, and cheer for her from the sidelines of her chosen sport.

To me it seems abundantly clear that having a "dad" is immeasurably better than having just a "father." There are some people who do not share this opinion. Many anti adoption people and, yes, they do exist, think that the biological connection is paramount. That it is paramount to happiness to share genes with a known entity.

I wonder what Baby Girl will think.

New Yahoo Group! Hello all. I've done it! I have been so enjoying participating in the OHGWQ --One Hundred Good Wishes Quilt yahoo group. For a while I've been thinking about starting a similar type group to swap themed scrapbook pages. So the other day, I did it. Donna, a fellow waiting mom, had put together this logo when I proposed Ladybug Hunters as a name for our DTC group. The group ended up going with a different name but when I decided to start the group I emailed Donna and asked if it would be OK if I used the logo. Not only did she say "yes" but she became my first official member! For anyone who's interested in getting more info you can check out the group at this address:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/LadybugHuntersScrapbookingClub/

Lordy, lordy, look who's 40!!! That's right, its me. Ok, so I've heard 40 is the new 30. Truthfully, I don't feel a darn bit different. But, I am 40 nonetheless. I'm certainly happier now than I was when I was 30 --I'm just older. More gray hair to contend with.

When I think about these ever increasing wait times, which latest worst case scenarios place at possible 18 mos, I start to think about how old we're going to be when she gets here. With Brett and Casey, we were the young parents, always. Now, we will be those old parents. The ones that people talk to and when they walk away the conversation goes on stating or guessing at our advanced ages. Egads!

Anyway, happy birthday to me.

BROWN ENVELOPE!!! My goodness, what a plain thing it looks to be. I'll try to post a pic if I can. I really had decided we were not going to get one. It seemed like the only people still getting them were LID after ours but there it was in the mailbox, waiting for me when I got home!!!

Also, today marks exactly 100 days since we were LID. Everyone on the online groups seems pretty depressed about the wait times stretching out. Interestingly, I believed the rumors last week. So I have had a whole week to get used to the idea. I'm not happy but I am resigned to wait however long it takes. I know it will happen. There's also a rumor on the Dec DTC site that someone with a 12/05 LID was asked for additional information. Its plausible that Dec is in the review room now. If true, it would mean that we're getting close to review ourselves.

I want Baby Girl here.

Well, today it has been exactly 60 days since our LID. Assuming a 12 month, 365 day wait until referral, we are 16-1/2% of the way through. We will be 25% there on May 15th~~ 50% there on August 13th and 75% there on Nov 13th. That's the way I plan on wading through this wait, one day closer at a time!!

This is a picture of my "word cloud" ~~they are really fun to make. I guess you can order T~shirts and stuff too but I just thought I'd post it here.

WE HAVE A LID!!!! REMEMBER THE DATE, MARK IT ON YOUR CALENDAR, THIS IS IT!!! DRUM ROLL PLEASE...... FEBRUARY 13, 2006 !!!!!!!!

I have chosen to type in pink today to match my "tickled pink" mood!!!! Honestly, I cannot believe it. I have been checking the boards numerous times per day for at least 6 weeks waiting to hear some news. In fact, I feel sorry for those who have to hang out with me. I've been mopey and uncharacteristically quiet (at times). Yesterday, I was so busy at work and completely distracted by an issue that had taken place with Brett that I had no time. I came in to work super early (for me that's 5 o'clock folks) and decided to relax for a few minutes with my morning yogurt and BAM!!! I read that we have our LID's. The post came out on the agency site yesterday at around noon.

I had a very strong suspician that our LID was going to be Valentine's Day. There were many reasons for this. I had been keeping close track of the DTC vs. LID of others and their various agency policies re: when and how they translate, etc. Plus, I just thought how fun it would be to be LID on heart day but I am thrilled to have it even one day earlier than expected. If CCAA continues to send our partial month referrals, that one day could affect our referral by a month. And, if they ever speed up a little and go back to even 1/2 months at least we're in the first half of the month. There is a website isorumors.blogspot.com written by a women who calls herself the Rumor Queen. She is carefully documenting the referral process to try to figure out all sorts of things us waiting parents are interested in like... How long will referrals actually take? What exactly has caused the slowdown? Is CCAA really still referring out as many children as before? etc, etc, etc. She says her most recent info is that the referral process should not extend past the 12 month mark. That would mean that our referral (when you get the picture and medical info) would come in by Feb 2007 and we would likely be traveling to China around April 2007. I really hope her rumors are correct. I can live with that. Late last week there were rumors floating around that the referral process might actually extend to 18 months!!! OUCH!!! Let's hope the old rumors are wrong and the new rumors are right.

Anyway, we are "officially" 47 days into our wait for Baby Girl!!! If the 12 month timeline is correct we would have 318 days left to wait until we receive a picture of our daughter. Wow!!! Plus on the weird-things-to-think-about side this means that somewhere in China, a birthmother is likely carrying the little girl that will someday be our child. The babies are an average of 11 mos old at referral meaning with a Feb referral she would be born in April, that's next month.... It is possible that she's already been born but she definitely exists in one form or another. Plays with the brain.